Chapter 4… What do you think?…

~Brenden…Reality or Dream.

Brenden stood looking into the still face of his wife. There was question in his eyes. Why had Lynx acted that way. Normally he was invisible, silent, and not so direct. He had to have been the reason for all the scares Jesslyn had suffered. Why is he operating this way? Why was he the one that was sent at any rate. The task is like a hunt for him, teasing his prey, looking and watching her, lurking after her, lusting after her. His resolve would not be to complete the task only but something else is involved.

How could I have let this go so far, she was never to be part of this. I couldn’t have the world know my true identity. Copper…Copper only existed in nightmares. Nightmares that he created for each victim that he visited. Gathering intelligence, bloody resolves. Jesslyn would never know this person, yet when the time came that he feared he would be found out he had no choice. He had no choice, he would have been locked under a prison, he would have been tortured, he would have lost his life with no resolve or cause as to why, he simply would have gone missing and that would have left his family vulnerable. How do you deal with such a curse.

“its all about the life I chose before you” he thought aloud. Suddenly he heard a weak voice come back, ” what life?”…Brenden stiffened and looked into Jesslyn’s face. Her face looked confused, eyes still adjusting, she didn’t know if this was reality or a dream. He quickly moved to her side. ” So much for our date, what happened?” He looked at her and could say nothing for a long while. He did not know how to approach the subject. He asked her, what do you remember? Suddenly her face changed and he could see fear in her eyes and feel her body begin to shake. He reassured her that she was fine, for now.

Jesslyn’s immediate response was- FINE FOR NOW! What is going on? Brenden! Tell me, am I going crazy? Brenden knew, there was no hiding now. The truth has to come out and now is the time. Her life depends on it.

He changed his identity and built a new life knowing that this old life would one day come to haunt him, and now it has. His past seeks blood that he would not spill, his past seeks Jesslyn and in return for her protection he has been a welcome slave to one of the most powerful underground lords to exist. Zia, a woman so lethal she doesn’t have to speak above a whisper, but if she is not pleased, your head will hang on her wall.

There was now no running, only facing this hurt head on. What would be the escape plan, to get her and the kid to safety, no place is safe enough, Zia crossed worlds to find them. To kill her would be to kill a God, and copper simply wasn’t strong enough…

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Feature Time! PaShakespeare

Hello to all who delight in this version of life. In light of my blog I want to try something a little different. I want to feature another blogger or vlogger once a quarter ( every 3 months). I want you guys to show this blogger much support in the interest that they are looking to get their works out there and reach their target audience just the same as you! Lets take a glance at a very different, unique, and open blogger who sends many messages through his writings. This young man uses all of the things around him to inspire truth, justice, and education. His name is PaShakespeare and he has something that you need to hear. Please check his links and be sure to subscribe to hear more of his voice through writing!

WhatsApp Image 2017-11-01 at 3.11.06 AM

 

NOVEMBER, 93

​Twas like every November before it,
But this one came with an air of uncertainty,
For the drums of celebrations had halted in may.
When Owen celebrated his second birthday.

Fate was finally smiling at Evbareke
Those around her had thought,
For indeed she, the child whose mother abandoned just nine months after her birth.

And left in the care of her sick father,
Aged grand mother,
And family members who cared less
For her existence.

 

READ the full work -@-

https://pashakespeareblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/01/147/?preview=true

http://www.campus94.com/2017/10/november93.html?m=1

https://saefpoem.blogspot.com.ng/2017/10/november-93.html?m=1

http://elevatorzworld.blogspot.com.ng/2017/10/like-every-november-before-it-but-this.html?m=1

 

 

 

#HappyNewMonthMyFamily

Fearful or Fearless

What do you do when you realize you are afraid?

What are you afraid of- I know for me I fear failure, I fear negative change, I fear no resolution, I fear a path with bad results, I fear being 40 before life is what we consider good for me. I fear not living and always struggling to survive.

Some of you will agree that if you fear those things then you work to change them, right? I have to say that this is not the case for everyone. Some people get into a state of fear and life simply stops. Their goals stop, their ambition dries up, and their dreams become distant memories and terrors of the mind. One may want to seek help for these things, that lead to depression, lead to suicidal cases, leads to poverty, and most of all leads to a person who is more a shell than a soul.

I have come to realize in these 3 days that I do not by any circumstances want the above to be me. But, it almost was. I have had some things to go on with me that is enough to take my mind hostage, but I refuse to be what society considers the bottom of the totem pole. Why? Because I was created with purpose, fueled with ambition, forged in a fire of standard, walking the lane of victory and serving a King that will with-hold no good thing from me. All of these things are encouraging, right? yes, they are and today I truly had to encourage myself- as the fire of life burned even hotter today with its circumstances, I chose not to be the victim or the abandoned.

I allowed vulnerability to have me so that I can cry, cry out to God and look for hope in Christ and see the solution that many of us think we have and still don’t grasp. I had to remember that for as much control as we would like to have we do not possess much and it is important to lean on one who can make time stand still if we need him to do that. Check the word, he has given us such power before. Encouraging ourselves is the key to winning daily battles. Looking in the mirror and seeing the person that you are in God’s Eye, seeing the person that you aspire to be, and not the person of circumstance that is leading the race right now.

I literally had to tell myself, shout to myself, scream at myself to fuel myself ( I will never be this broke or broken again!!!). Why? because people do not have all of the answers and in the end it is our choice as to how we run the race and if we finish weak or strong. We have the power to overcome if we open our mouths and speak it. We have to believe us before anyone else can believe us.

Did my circumstance disappear- No, Did my finance change immediately-NO, Will I still have to fight for the victory-YES, Do I believe I will win- Hell Yes!

And the rewarding part is that you should feel the same exact way. No matter what your war is you are a warrior and one thing my God shared with me is that ” Warriors are not CUTE, they are fierce and ready to battle for the VICTORY! All of their fears and reservations are worked out on the front end and they are trained to deal with any fear and reservation on the battle field because the purpose is to win!!!!) and yes I said that as fiercely as you read it. Some of you may not agree with all that I said, however, its not wrong. Take from this what is most important- you can and will succeed but you have to choose to be victorious, then you have to walk in it.

I love each of you and I hope to hear some success stories along with my own. MWAH!

 

You tell me…

HOW MANY FIRST TIMES DO WE NEED!

It is currently 11:16 p.m and I am sitting on my laptop thinking. How many first times do we need. First love, first experiences, first opportunity, first thoughts, First!!! First !!! First?

First make up your mind about what and who you want to be. Then remember that no matter if its a first or a second chance it is your opportunity to be better than before. With all of the desolation, hatred, heartbreak, depression, psychotic break downs, and liberal woe’s- what do we really need to do to see that just because the first time wasn’t successful or limited, the first time may have been rocky road instead of smooth sailing; despite those things we are worthy of opportunity and multiple chances.

Every breathe in your body is a chance to fight the oppression, and fight for what you desire. Also, if you have no oppression and woes, you are not exempt. Not having a lot of responsibility doesn’t mean that you are not confused and lack discipline, direction, and a will to complete things. Again, we put down one thing for another over and over again looking for a new first chance.

I myself have spent over 8 years looking for first beginnings. Sounds like a long time right? Well I am currently 29 years old. IT’S A LONG TIME!!!! Hey it is.. especially when you realize you have goals and desires that you have not met. How easy is it to feel that you are a failure and look for a new first beginning. Listen to me all who read, for a new first there is no need. You have more than just a first opportunity with the breathe in your body.

You are a Phenom, You are worthy of more than simply 1 chance, You are worthy of every opportunity you can get. This thing called life is an adventure that I am more than willing to take with each of you, just as you take my journey with me.

Thanks for listening…Hugs and MWAH!

http://jessbeingtransparent.blogspot.com/2017/09/how-many-first-times-do-we-need.html

Chapter 3- Tell me what you think…?

~Invisible

 Jesslyn awoke with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. She dropped Jestin off at his aunt’s and returned home to begin breakfast for Brenden who had yet to arrive home. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t heard from him but she wouldn’t waste anytime preparing for his arrival home. With wicked thoughts she decided to call and get an estimate of time for his arrival but he didn’t answer the phone. She didn’t worry, Jesslyn went to take a hot shower and prepare herself to give him all the love she had inside.

Jesslyn got out of her shower and began to lotion her body in her favorite fragrance lotion. Oddly enough she didn’t hear Brenden but she felt eyes on her back. She turned but saw no one, she called out for Brenden but received no response. She quickly finished oiling her body and slipped into t-shirt dress that she often wore around the house. After shaking the feeling she called for Brenden again but got no answer on his cell.

Jesslyn casually strolled into the kitchen when her phone. She quickly grabbed the phone hoping to hear Brenden on the other end. She answered with a swift ” Hello” only to hear static on the other end of the line. She hung up the phone only for it to ring again. This time she looked at the caller I.d. It wasn’t Brenden but an unknown phone number. She thought of the mysterious texter but she saved that phone number under the name weird. She answered thinking of the fact that Jestin was away from home and Brenden had yet to arrive home. She answer ” Hello!”, she again heard static and an unfamiliar voice saying ” My Love, I am here and I am coming for you”.

Jesslyn almost lost her sight as fear rushed into her bones. She looked around and saw no one but from her bedroom she heard glass shatter. She quickly turned but became horrified and shell shocked, her feet wouldn’t move. She saw a shadow, a figure, coming down the hallway. She didn’t think to fight or defend herself, her mind only screamed at her to run. Her body moved to the notion and she sprinted full speed through the back door of the kitchen- outside and down the drive way when she bumped into a solid figure. She felt hands grab her firmly to keep her from falling- Jesslyn screamed.

She could only hear her heart beat and blood rushing through her ears, her vision blurred with tears when she saw the form clearly. It was Brenden, he was startled and stared into the distance beyond her. Once his appraising look returned to her he wanted to know if she was okay ? Jesslyn sobbed until her body shook and from sheer panic and fear she blacked out.

~Brenden

After leaving his meeting later than normal he wondered what would Jesslyn say. He was so close to telling her the truth about the life that they live and what it is that he really does and where he spends every night in pure pleasure. This pleasure that was like a drug, this pleasure that had driven a wedge in-between his love for her. He wanted to let her know gently the truth about who he was and what he wanted. He wanted to tell her the truth about who she was and what this all meant for her.

She was the mother of his child and his friend but she was not his heart, she served a different purpose. She was a cover up to the monster and liar that he truly was.  He had tipped around the subject since she freaked out about a mysterious text. He had his ideas about where the text came from and what it meant for her and for him. Brenden wanted to support her emotional state without doing to much damage to her psyche. He would tell her the truth tonight.

Before he knew it he was pulling into the drive way. He had thought his way home through red lights and stop signs, he was driving blindly. He pulled into the drive to see their home beautiful but still. He got out of his car and went to the mailbox. As he walked up the drive he sees Jesslyn dart out of the kitchen door, a shadow moving swift behind her- but came to a halt upon seeing him. She rammed into him, blinded with fear. He grabbed his wife and held her tight so that she wouldn’t fall. She screamed and scrambled to get away. He held her and called her name to calm her and reassure her he was not harming her. She looked into his face as if she had seen a ghost. He looked ahead at the figure in the shadows who turned and retreated to the house.

She sobbed until she blacked out -he carried her into their home resting her body on the bed. He made sure she was unharmed, but without moving his face from her he spoke saying- why are you still here- you are coming on to strong, you have horrified her and how do you expect her to accept you this way if you act like a crazed killer? A voice returned saying ” Our arrangement is final and cannot be broken, I am not the one she should fear- you know that better than anyone don’t you copper”?  Brenden replied ” don’t use my name in that fashion here- are you going to harm her”? He received no response, he turned to find no one there. His eyes blazed with fire that could not be sated, yet the truth has to be revealed and write away…

And Then… There Was Light

This is intended to make one think. The thoughts of who we were and are ride deep in our blood, in our thoughts. Shadows of a life lived, unforgotten, yet historically not marked at present but in the present I live with the marks of what was. A very deep hearted thought and experience.

What's Done In the Black

If you allow me to tell you this story, if you are ready, you have to sit with me. You cannot wander off as if you have lost interest. If I release myself, you have to stay. If you stay I will tell you everything. And then you will see that I am not crazy, and we are alike in ways can even imagine. So stay.

I can remember before I was born, before the womb, before the light and warmth, before the tangible pains. I can remember my life in ancient Asia. If I could be more particular, I would say a crop field in Japan. I was a monk. I was male, and I was sewing the field. There were others far off, minding other parts, but we all were tilling the soil, losing it up for planting. This was before the Worlds had come together, before the…

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Chapter 2- Tell me what you think?

~Love is in the air.

Today Jesslyn awoke and she actually felt great. It had been four days since that mysterious text and she had finally gained her sleep rhythm back.She no longer felt watched or crazy so she needed to celebrate with a free day. Her husband Darren had been concerned about her behavior, but she didn’t want to alarm him; he already had a stressful job. She had decided that Saturday had come and gone she would take her son Jestin to the park for some fun. At five years old he had lots of energy and she would help him disperse it in the most fun way possible today. She hopped out of bed and into a warm shower. She then prepared breakfast for her family and gave Darren a warm  appreciative kiss before leaving home for some early morning shopping while he was home before work. She went to her favorite store Catherine’s.

She wanted to find something nice and alluring. She had spoken with Brenden during their brief time together that morning and she had managed to convince him that a dinner date would be good for them. He was gone for long periods of time working overnight.Many times she would see him briefly during the day and he would be gone at night for three to four weeks at a time. This was stressful but they agreed together for him to take the job for more revenue and this also allowed her to be a stay at home mom and work on her book and upcoming business focuses pertaining to her book. This would be his first off day in three weeks. He seemed as if he was becoming distant and unattached. He seemed different in many ways that she couldn’t put her finger on. She knew his job detail would be a big responsibility and she wanted to be sure to support him. It was important to Jesslyn to keep them connected during this adjustment period in their lives. She would plan the most perfect dinner date.  They would celebrate simply loving one another at their favorite restaurant- Alexander’s. They would then return home for her favorite part- desert. With wicked thoughts in her head she blushed and continued dress shopping.

Jesslyn wanted to find a dress that was flattering and an eye opener. She though about color selection considering it was late spring heading into summer she didn’t want to bold of a color. She always struggled with finding clothes to fit her properly. Her style was unique and unlike most that she had often seen- this was part of what drew Darren’s attention to her. She wanted to look perfect but she always had to consider all components of what would go well with her as a whole. Darren always joked that once they were millionaires she could have her own personal seamstress with fabrics and colors to fit her every dream. She had to admit that she did look forward to having someone who could help style her. With her skin the shade of honey she wanted a color that would look flattering. She was petite yet curvaceous.  She was a mere 5’2 1/2 inches tall wearing a size 8 petite, wider in the hips than most her size with a head full of soft luscious curly hair that was naturally the color of chocolate. She added blond highlights to give her hair dimension when she wore it in its natural curl pattern. Jesslyn had eyes a unique shade of brown and green with golden specs. Darren liked taller women who could match his 6 feet 1 inches but he loved her look and always said that she complemented the warmth in him and no matter the size or height of her- he loved her for her originality ,and beauty, but most of all her heart.

Darren was tall and creamy. His skin was the shade of vanilla ice cream. His eyes a beautiful smokey chocolate color that could warm areas one didn’t know existed. He was muscular and strong and had often picked her up as if she weighed nothing. He literally was an Adonis. She remembers when he with all of his strength would hold her so tenderly and never hurt her. After 5 years of marriage it is easy to become comfortable and routined. There had always been so much excitement between them up until he got this new contract for his job as private detail security. This past year had been one to reckon with him never being home over night except for the 1 night within three weeks and even then he was so tired it seemed that she could barely get him to hold her, the love making was quick and seemed to be more a burden than a pleasure for him. She wouldn’t give up and they would start fresh after this date.

With the thought of loving her husband and her own honey colored skin she walked upon a cream colored cocktail dress that she had to try on. The dress was gorgeous and felt amazing on her body. She thought it might be to much with a sheer open back and material that fitted every curve on her body. the dress had an asymmetrical sleeve leaving one shoulder exposed and a sleeve on the other and beautiful crystals lining the neck and shoulder. The dress had class and sass in which she found she had been missing since she became a stay at home mom in their new suburban home. She was thrilled about their life there but she didn’t want to miss the the love and fire that they had as a unit. This dinner and date night would give them perspective and nothing is to much for the love of her life.

While she was out she decided to buy some perfume and also some new lipstick. She was feeling especially optimistic about this date considering her husband would be home after three long weeks working overnight every night.She went to the salon and got a fresh wash and a new bob cut that could be in any magazine. She would pull out all the stops. Jesslyn went to the nail shop and got her hands and feet attended to. She wanted to feel Darren’s hands on every inch of her and she wanted her skin to feel like silk. She would soak in the bubble back and oil up before bed. She immediately found her favorite shoes- a gold glittered peep toe shoe that hugged her ankle with a golden heart shaped buckle. She would send Jestin away to his aunts and they would warm up to one another in a very special way. Nothing could or would ruin this occasion-in her mind there didn’t have to be anything special going on for this. Darren was her best-friend, her husband, her son’s father and all that she could have ever imagined wrapped up in his spectacular form and set aside for her forever. The way she felt about her husband was always like the perfect first date. Yet, somehow she could see that in his eyes there was something different when he looked at her. Almost like a stranger, she couldn’t understand it, but she knew that he loved her and she loved him. She had summed it up to be that he was tired from working so much. Whatever was going on with him she would love it through. Jesslyn wanted the evening to be perfect and she wouldn’t accept anything less.